Thinking Comic Strips - Page 24
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
437 Results for Thinking
View 231 - 240 results for thinking comic strips. Discover the best "Thinking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 02,
2000
Tags asset tags, equipment, staplers, not considered equipment, asset tag man, conversation
Transcript
Asok says to Dilbert, "My assignment is to put asset tags on all equipment." Asok asks Dilbert, "Did you know that staplers are not considered equipment?" Asok walks away from Dilbert, thinking "No one likes to make conversation with the asset tag man."
Wednesday April 12,
2000
Tags enlightenment, technology buddha, vanilla ice cream bowl, very wise, busy meditating
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert while sitting at his desk, "Take this to the technology Buddha for enlightenment." Dilbert thinks to himself upon entering the Buddha's office and seeing him with his eyes closed and both hands on the desk, "He's busy meditating." Dilbert goes and stands next to the Buddha's chair all the while thinking to himself, "He must be very wise." The Buddha thinks to himself with both eyes shut, "Huge bowl of vanilla ice cream."
Monday April 03,
2000
Tags fake disability claim, disabled, hard to believe, note from doctor, obvious, long time
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."
Monday December 06,
1999
Tags speak english, think in french, french lessons, croissant
Transcript
Carol is standing next to the boss's desk holding a folder. The boss is sitting at his desk while signing a sheet of paper says: "I speak English but I think in French." The boss hands a sheet of paper to Carol and says: "Someday I'll take French lessons to find out what the heck I'm thinking." Carol exits the boss's office and the boss thinks: "Croissant"
Sunday November 28,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, hr dept., views of management, exceeds expectations, renamed, drool, loser, die die die, category changes, performance review
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIl Director of Human Resources Catbert is walking through the office carrying a paper thinking, "I love my job." He walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hello, hapless employee." He continues, "I've renamed the four levels of employee performance..." "...To accurately reflect the views of management." Catbert reading from his paper, "The category of "exceeds expectations" is renamed to..." "..."At least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself."..." He continues, "..."Meets expectations will be called "loser". "Does not meet expectations" will now be called "Die! Die! Die!"..." Catbert is walking off thinking, "I could send it out by e-mail but I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces."
Tuesday November 23,
1999
Tags great turnaround ceo, turn around, head in hand
Transcript
Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."
Sunday November 21,
1999
Tags young dilbert, mother, kitchen denied permission, skateboard, construction site, jumped off cliff, credibility, Family
Transcript
A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."
Thursday November 18,
1999
Tags company, pdas for employees, business trips, palm pilot california, cheap, business
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. The boss says, "The company will not buy PDA's for employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Will you still pay for business trips of no discernible value?" The boss replies, "Of course." The boss is thinking, "A lot of people are traveling to Palm Pilot California lately."
Sunday October 31,
1999
Tags seven silo teams, merge them, coherent plan, mutually exclusive, deciding startegy, losers, silo teams
Transcript
The boss is following Dilbert to a desk. The boss says, "Here are the strategies from our seven silo teams." They sit down and the boss says, "Your job is to merge them into a coherent company plan." Dilbert says, "These are all mutually exclusive." Dilbert continues... "I'd have to totally change them to make them coherent." Dilbert goes on... "In effect, I would be deciding the strategy for the entire company." The boss says, "That's okay." Dilbert replies, "It is?" The boss walks off thinking, "No one ever reads it anyway." Dilbert, at his computer thinks, "I feel sorry for those losers on the silo teams."
Thursday April 29,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, employee skills, database, moving everyone, jobs, laughed fuzzy
Transcript
Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."

