After Tax Earnings Comic Strips - Page 24

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View 231 - 240 results for after tax earnings comic strips. Discover the best "After Tax Earnings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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Phew! That was a nice four-mile walk. "Refreshing!" "Want to watch some TV?" "After I finish this call." Dogbert's Tech Support "Thanks for holding. There's nothing in the database about your kind of problem." @#$%!

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"Hey, Dilbert, would you mind stopping by my house after work and seeing if you can fix my computer?" "Sure. And while I do that you can be at my house cleaning the grout in my shower." "That's crazy talk." "Hey, I'm not the one who majored in comparative literature."

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Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp of marketing, #17 years, #lowering margins, #overseeing campaigns

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Bob will be leaving us after 17 years as vice president of marketing. "Bob's accomplishments include lowering both our margins and our sales while overseeing a series of confusing marketing campaigns." "I hope you'll all join me in wishing for a piano to fall on his head."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #language, #time zone, #time, #fatigue, #confusion

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"After seeing the Elbonian mp3 player prototype I scheduled a conference call." "Because of the time difference, the call was at 3 AM. I was groggy and they barely speak any English, but I think we got everything worked out." "He was right. It does look better with the speakers."

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Topper "I had to carry over three weeks of vacation." "That's nothing!" "I carried over so much time that they had to create a new month and name it after me!" "Shut your pie hole!" "It looks as if someone is having a bad topperuary."

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Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

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Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #congress, #lobbying, #money, #politicians, #Politics, #voting, #corruption, #enthusiasm

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Dogbert the Lobbyist Dogbert: Congressman, I will give you this bag of money if you vote for tax breaks for my client. Try to be less obvious than the last time. Congressman: Yes! I vote yes! Man: Smooth.

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"The highlight of my workday is this ham sandwich." "From now until quitting time, nothing else will be as rewarding." "What do you do after work?" "I think about the sandwich."