Best Shore Comic Strips - Page 24

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303 Results for Best Shore

View 231 - 240 results for best shore comic strips. Discover the best "Best Shore" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), thinking, ceos technology challenge, innovative ideas, fresh water, elbonia, award winning ideas, water in a box

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CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, meat, thinking, write ideas, brainstorming, lunch meat, robot, human, confuisng

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Boss: Tina, I asked you to write up the best ideas from our brainstorming session. The top one on your list is "A Robot Made of Lunch Meat." That's basically just a human. Tina: What part of "Best Ideas" is confusing you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, laziness, shortcuts, lazy, business

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Wally: Experts say lazy employees are the best because they know how to find shortcuts. Boss: So you found a lot of shortcuts? Wally: Me/ No. I'm not lazy. I'm useless. Boss: Then why did you bring it up? Wally: Why wouldn't I? I"m not lazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, executives, managers & supervisors, kill or cannibalize, business

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CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, efficiency experts, gloves, foot in glove

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Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), wages, big data, top perfromers, higher pay, average performance, average people say, money

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Catbert: Our big data analysis tells us that only the top performers leave for higher pay. Since you're still here, it means your performance is average at best. Dilbert: That's not fair! Catbert: That's what all the average people say.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cowardice, terrorists, international terrorist, cancel order, big hit earnings, decimate value, stock options, transfer, poor safety record

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Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, thinking, product ideas, billion dollar ideas, unwilling, corporation, dumb person idea, pretend, drone that attacks, wooden screen phone

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Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, rich people, being rich, income inequality, happy, networth, thousand times, 800 times, net worth

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Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, learn from coworkers, busy worers, request, no one helps, learning, business

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Boss: Asok, the best way to advance your career is by learning as much as you can from co-workers. Asok: Can you show me what you are doing? Alice: Come back in ten years when I'm not busy. Asok: No one will help me learn anything. Boss: You learned that!