Big Business Comic Strips - Page 24
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1000 Results for Big Business
View 231 - 240 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 06,
2003
Tags consulting firm, fixing business strategies, own industry, doing bad, never mention
Transcript
Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.
Friday November 21,
2003
Tags status reprrts, costs of projects, business plan, budget, throw on pile
Transcript
Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."
Friday December 26,
2003
Tags rehired, alice back, dulled instincts, first day abck, business picking up
Transcript
The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.
Monday January 12,
2004
Tags need approval, exhausted, bored, head ache, business travel
Transcript
Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"
Monday February 16,
2004
Tags consultant, create, disruptive innovations, dogbert consults, redefine market, business
Transcript
DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."
Thursday April 01,
2004
Tags doctor dogbert show, big woman, little man, tv show, freak show, man, hot dog bun, doll like husband, interview, tv camera
Transcript
Doctor Dogbert Show Dogbert: Today we'll meet a couple who have a common problem. Big woman: I make him sleep in a gigantic hot dog bun. Dogbert: Can I see it? Man: No... please big woman: And the problem is that he snores.
Monday June 14,
2004
Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest
Transcript
I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!
Saturday July 03,
2004
Tags sublet space, business case, risks and drivers, changed mind
Transcript
Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."
Tuesday July 13,
2004
Tags negotiate sale, voice activated hassock business, no lying, plenty of ommissions, tactical ignorance
Transcript
The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."
Wednesday July 28,
2004
Tags founder of compnay, tug up, copper wire, replaced tombstone, huge magnet, business practivces, spin in grave, generate electricity
Transcript
"We dug up the founder of our company and wrapped him in copper wire." "Then we replace his tombstone with a huge magnet." "With any luck, our business practices will make him spin in his grave and generate electricity."


