Can't Control Weather Comic Strips - Page 24
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Character
248 Results for Can't Control Weather
View 231 - 240 results for can't control weather comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Control Weather" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 07,
2017
Robot Will Crush Employees
Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power
Transcript
Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.
Friday November 03,
2017
App For Jumping Off The Roof
Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #suicide, #murder, #legal issues, #reasonable doubt
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.
Monday October 30,
2017
Monday
Tags #thought, #cognition, #technology, #invention, #computer, #intelligence
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.
Saturday November 04,
2017
Boss Ends Neural Interface
Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss
Transcript
Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.
Saturday December 16,
2017
Product Is Too Addictive
Tags #social media, #technology, #facebook, #twitter, #addiction, #big business, #impulse control
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.
Friday December 22,
2017
Human Sensation Slipping Away
Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness
Transcript
Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?
Wednesday January 17,
2018
Asok Upgrades His Soul
Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology
Transcript
Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.
Monday January 22,
2018
Unforseen Problems
Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen
Transcript
Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.
Tuesday January 30,
2018
Kill Code In Car
Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #invention, #murder, #control, #government
Transcript
Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."
Saturday February 10,
2018
Need To Be More Creative
Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership
Transcript
Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.