Dead Cat Bounce Comic Strips - Page 24

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251 Results for Dead Cat Bounce

View 231 - 240 results for dead cat bounce comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Cat Bounce" comics from Dilbert.com.

One Missile

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One Missile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiding, off the grid, surveillance, spying, drone, emergency, drone strike, hacker

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G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Ted Died Last Week

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Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags listening, listen, listener, silence, death, dead, attention, medical

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Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, unemployment, replacement, obsolete, app, job, jobs, dating, logic, business, relationships

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Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, health, work, employee, work ethic, laziness, excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

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Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, future, death, prediction, health, reaction, medical

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Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura

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The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags horoscope, Astrology, prediction, fortune, nonsense

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Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Checking The Time

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Checking The Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bored, boredom, dying, dead

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Boss: Stop checking the time when I talk to you! Dilbert: I wasn't checking the time. I was checking my pulse to see if I'm dying from boredom. Uh-oh. Boss: I hope this is a coincidence.

I Own You

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I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, work ethic, communication, text, control

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Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scam, death, reincarnation, con, con artist, ghost, medical

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.