Funny Dog Comic Strips - Page 24

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297 Results for Funny Dog

View 231 - 240 results for funny dog comic strips. Discover the best "Funny Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags think aloud, cost, monkeys, swallow tongue, distarctions, stream of consciousness

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, let me think aloud for a minute." The Boss continues, "The cost will be $3,000... losing focus... monkeys are funny... my tongue is digesting in my mouth." The Boss concludes, "That didn't help as much as I had hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags labor market, own paper, unleash hound, broken copier

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Dilbert approaches a woman at a desk. He asks, "Our copier is broken. May I use yours?" The woman responds, "Only if you use your own paper." Dilbert says, "I just need one copy and my office is about a mile away." The woman replies, "Don't make me unleash the hound." A man wearing dog ear muffs crouches next to the woman. Dilbert asks, "That's a hound?" The woman responds, "Technically he's a web designer in a tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chapter 11, profits are fake, sold all stock, diversifying investments, bankruptcy, files for bankruptcy

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The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Ha ha! We're filing for chapter 11 because all of our so-called profits are fake." The Boss continues, "I'm laughing because I sold all of my stock the same day I heard that our CFO did." Alice shuts her eyes and clenches her teeth in anger. Alice stands up and yells, " You said he was just diversifying his investments!" The Boss responds, " It sounds funny now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad person, crud, despicable, loathesome, rehearsed, walks with dog, unethical

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Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dilbert says, "I work for an unethical company. Does that make me a bad person?" Dogbert replies, "You're loathsome and despicable. If crud were shoes, you would be the crud in the crud's shoes." Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on stones in a field. Dilbert asks, "Why did that seem rehearsed?" Dogbert responds, "That's all I think about when we go for walks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, secretary for a day, deeply offended, trivial, train

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The Boss reads a memo, "The department that cuts costs the most will get our CEO as its secretary for a day." Carol says, "I'm deeply offended by the implication that my job is so trivial that it can used as a prize." The Boss replies, "Maybe you can train him to phone your kids and yell at them." Carol exclaims, "Not funny!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laughs alot, hired, morale, big impact, crazy alice

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"You laugh at everything, whether it's funny or not." "Ha ha ha!! It's true." "You're hired. You'll have a big impact on morale!" "Ha ha ha!! Yes, I will!" "Must stay alive." "HA HA HA!! COMPUTERS ARE FUNNY! HA HA!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lead odg, view never changes, look at face, imlying, insightful analogy

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The boss: "Remember, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes." Carol: "I'm not the lead dog, and I have to look at your face all day. The Boss: "What are you implying?" Carol: "I was admiring your insightful analogy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, create, disruptive innovations, dogbert consults, redefine market, business

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DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wave, say bah, its been nice talking, dog, man, animals

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"When you ask me questions, I usually wave my hand and say, 'Bah!'" "But from now on, I'll say 'why do you want to know?' And then I'll say, 'Bah!' over your answer." "How often do you hear the phrase 'It's been nice talking to you?'" "Not so much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hefty bonus, under budget, results, luck, project delayed

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"I got a hefty bonus for being way under budget." "Effort is no longer rewarded. It's all about results, which means mostly luck." "It's kinda funny; the only reason I was under budget is that my project was delayed." "Gaaaa!!!"