Leave Of Absence Comic Strips - Page 24

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273 Results for Leave Of Absence

View 231 - 240 results for leave of absence comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Of Absence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business

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Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Removing Obstacles

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Removing Obstacles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hinder, #hinderance, #obstacle, #obstacles, #management, #managers, #insult, #zinger, #zing

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Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.

Alice Networks With Ted

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Alice Networks With Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #gender, #Women, #business, #success, #double standard, #attraction, #networking, #mixed signals, #flirt, #misinterpretation

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Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

Twitter Complaints

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Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.