Leave To Heir Comic Strips - Page 24
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269 Results for Leave To Heir
View 231 - 240 results for leave to heir comic strips. Discover the best "Leave To Heir" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 29,
2015
Human Contact Through Social Media
Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Thursday December 31,
2015
Why All The Women Leave
Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage
Transcript
Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.
Saturday February 20,
2016
Carol Leaves Kids
Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family
Transcript
Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
Monday June 13,
2016
Twitter Complaints
Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.
Thursday June 23,
2016
Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #scam, #gullible, #emotions, #deception
Transcript
CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.
Sunday July 03,
2016
Tags #punctuality, #late, #excuses, #traffic, #sleep, #time management, #health
Transcript
Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.
Saturday August 27,
2016
Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone
Tags #annoying, #foibles, #pet peeve, #habit, #office, #cubicle
Transcript
Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.
Sunday August 28,
2016
Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.
Friday November 18,
2016
Wally Comes In Early
Tags #schedule, #hours, #work, #trick, #deception, #leaving early
Transcript
Wally: Can I come in an hour early tomorrow and leave early? Boss: Yeah, okay. Wally: How about five hours early? Boss: Um... sure. Wally: Let's say eight hours early and you won't even see me.