Low Self Esteem Comic Strips - Page 24

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View 231 - 240 results for low self esteem comic strips. Discover the best "Low Self Esteem" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone bill, expense, award, speech, lost cell phone, low bill, company phone

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"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kodos, morale, mascot, meetings, moral improves, bear suit, meeting, low morale, idea for imprvement, business

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The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ergophobia, fear of work, abnoraml, discover new words, about self

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"I got a bad case of ergophobia. It's an abnormal and persistent fear of work." "Isn't everything about you a little abnormal and persistent?" "Yeah, but Im still delighted when I discover new words for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags opyomotrist, nears sighted visonaries, nerve expect worst, charge price

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I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ethics hotline, naughty thoughts, work hours, lost productivity, reimburse comapny, fortune, too honest, self imposing

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Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags liosuction, disappeared, head one, eating donuts, being fed donuts

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Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags filthy, buck passer, up your alley, anger, disgust, low life, sleaze bag

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The buck-passer "Alice, this task is right up your alley." "Why should I do your work, you filthy buck-passer?!" "Because it's right up your alley." "It's gonna be right up your alley."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags socially obvious, social defect., change topic

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Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags give his presentation, irrelevant comparisons, low budget, development time, computers faster, obvious insights

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Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags newly designated, fire warden, bitter, assignment, regular job, last one out, safety, fire, panic, flushing self, exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."