Merging With Evil Compnay Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Merging With Evil Compnay

View 231 - 240 results for merging with evil compnay comic strips. Discover the best "Merging With Evil Compnay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #underperforming, #;i've volcano, #problem solved, #underperformed, #pumiced, #evil, #yet amusing

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your CEO was underperforming, so I convinced him to bungee jump into a live volcano. Problem solved." "Well, he underperformed and he got punished." "Pumiced, actually." "Evil, yet amusing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealth layoff, #evil director, #human resources, #worthless employees, #job no longer exists, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discount religin, #tithing 5%, #sin is in, #no time with joiners

View Transcript

Transcript

I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human rescources, #disgruntled, #bad management, #commute, #rationalizer, #employee, #commute is easy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding terrorists, #indirectly, #bed kind, #rebels, #brainwashed, #compnay, #money, #iran, #power point

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart: I heard your company is funding terrorists. Dilbert: "Very indirectly." "And they aren't the bad kind of terrorists. They're more like rebels who sometimes do terrorist things." Dogbert: "How did they brainwash you so fast?" Dilbert: "Iran supplied them with PowerPoint."