Not Near My House Comic Strips - Page 24
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238 Results for Not Near My House
View 231 - 238 results for not near my house comic strips. Discover the best "Not Near My House" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 17,
2019
Asok Lives In The Office
Tags boss, cost, criticism, house, office, office workers, expectations
Transcript
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.
Thursday July 18,
2019
Housing Costs
Tags cost, discussion, homeless persons, house
Transcript
Asok: Housing costs are so high that I had to move into a restroom stall. Man: I live in the park under a pile of wet cardboard. Asok: Have you tried a stall? Man: No, I'm too outdoorsy for that.
Monday August 26,
2019
Teambuilding Celebration
Tags celebration, employees, office workers, parties, rules
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.
Thursday October 17,
2019
Filled Bathtub To The Attic
Tags managers & supervisors, business, bathtub, home, weekend, water, attic, chimney
Transcript
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Friday January 31,
2020
What Good Is Money
Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own
Transcript
dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.
Saturday May 02,
2020
Carol Hoards
Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.
Wednesday December 09,
2020
Dogbert 5 G Testing
Tags business, technology, 5g, testing, low-cost, phone, prototype, eggs, fry, silly, qualified, experts, safety, email, bill
Transcript
tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.
Sunday March 14,
2021
Loud Using Zoom
Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine
Transcript
dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!