Part Horse Comic Strips - Page 24
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243 Results for Part Horse
View 231 - 240 results for part horse comic strips. Discover the best "Part Horse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 08,
2018
Press Release About Hack
Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology
Transcript
Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.
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Saturday May 26,
2018
Spittle
Tags #exercise, #fitness, #fad, #bossercise, #yelling, #criticism, #managers, #health
Transcript
Boss: If you need me, I'll be Bossercizing. Carol: What? Boss: It's a combination of walking around and spittle-yelling at underperformers. Carol: Is the spittle part necessary? Boss: Thhtop queth-tioning me!!!
Tuesday November 13,
2018
Bad Mouthing Ted's Code
Tags #boss, #computer software, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.
Sunday March 10,
2019
Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests
Transcript
Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.
Thursday April 04,
2019
Asok In A Coma
Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #coma, #dopamine
Transcript
dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.
Friday July 12,
2019
Unforseen Risks
Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks
Transcript
Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.
Sunday November 03,
2019
Goofy Words
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #proposal, #understand, #clarification, #end, #misunderstand
Transcript
dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.
Wednesday March 11,
2020
Recreational Data
Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation
Transcript
dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.
Wednesday July 29,
2020
Bad Judge Of Character
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.
Monday August 31,
2020
No More Id Badges
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #i.d. badge, #employees, #freedom, #tattoo, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.