Punish Engineers Comic Strips - Page 24
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245 Results for Punish Engineers
View 231 - 240 results for punish engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Punish Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 20,
2017
Who Wants The Legacy System Job
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer
Transcript
Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!
Tuesday February 21,
2017
Add Feature To Legacy System
Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate
Transcript
Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.
Saturday May 20,
2017
Delegating
Tags #workload, #productivity, #progress
Transcript
Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.
Wednesday July 19,
2017
Internal Rules Versus Good Code
Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!
Thursday April 19,
2018
Terrible Personality
Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.
Friday April 20,
2018
Dumb Question
Tags #engineers, #questioning, #dumb question, #stupidity, #jargon, #language, #lingo
Transcript
Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.
Friday November 02,
2018
Punishing For Others
Tags #employment, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #salary
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.
Saturday January 05,
2019
Twizzle The Flurm
Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.
Tuesday March 12,
2019
Best In The Industry
Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes
Transcript
Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.
Wednesday October 30,
2019
Microaggressions
Tags #business, #office workers, #human resources, #micro aggressions, #hire, #engineer
Transcript
catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources