Punish Engineers Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

245 Results for Punish Engineers

View 231 - 240 results for punish engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Punish Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Dilbert Characters

Add Feature To Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Delegating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Delegating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workload, #productivity, #progress

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.

Internal Rules Versus Good Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internal Rules Versus Good Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!

Terrible Personality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Terrible Personality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.

Dumb Question

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dumb Question - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #questioning, #dumb question, #stupidity, #jargon, #language, #lingo

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.

Punishing For Others

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Punishing For Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Best In The Industry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best In The Industry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.

Microaggressions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Microaggressions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #human resources, #micro aggressions, #hire, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources