Questioning Employees Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

621 Results for Questioning Employees

View 231 - 240 results for questioning employees comic strips. Discover the best "Questioning Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business meeting, #Dilbert, #the boss, #productivity, #ted, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I need to identify any unnecessary and unproductive employees so I can cut costs." The Boss asks, "Does anybody have spare time to join my task force on productivity?" Ted raises his hand and the Boss says, "Good, good . . . Anybody else?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #karoshi, #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #japanese, #worklife balance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outdoors, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aerobics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assurance, #value, #average employee, #less of us, #more work, #downsizing, #layoffs, #warning, #fewer employees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carpal tunnel, #health care, #money, #surgery, #constant agony, #false alarm, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paintball tournament, #next team building exercise, #easy sport, #employees unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I've decided that our next team-building exercise will be a paintball tournament." Alice, Wally and Dilbert think, "This is not a good thing." The Boss stands outside Dilbert's cubicle holding a paintball gun and wearing goggles. He peers around the doorway and thinks, "It's a deceptively easy sport."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee programs, #new dignity enhancement program, #drug testing, #clue meter, #reading zero, #handsome coffee mug

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "We're announcing two new programs for employees." The Boss continues, "The first is a new dignity enhancement program and the second is our new random drug testing initiative." Alice says to Wally, "The clue meter is reading zero." The Boss reaches toward them holding a coffee mug and says, "You each get a handsome coffee mug as part of the kick-off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."