Stupid Misperceptions Comic Strips - Page 24
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254 Results for Stupid Misperceptions
View 231 - 240 results for stupid misperceptions comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Misperceptions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 09,
2017
Contradicting Himself
Tags #surveillance, #managing, #proof, #body cam, #camera, #recording
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.
Saturday October 21,
2017
Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic
Tags #honesty, #truth, #diagnosis, #Opinion, #free will, #ai, #artificial intelligence
Transcript
Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?
Tuesday October 24,
2017
Boss Is Not A Quitter
Tags #social media, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #baiting, #technology
Transcript
Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!
Wednesday November 15,
2017
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch
Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance
Transcript
Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!
Friday December 22,
2017
Human Sensation Slipping Away
Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness
Transcript
Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?
Tuesday January 02,
2018
Wally Has A Car Problem
Tags #blame, #excuse, #laziness, #problems, #starbucks, #car problem
Transcript
Wally: Sorry I'm late. I had a car problem. Boss: What kind of car problem? Wally: I didn't get in it soon enough. Boss: That sounds like a "you" problem. Wally: Then my stupid car took me to Starbucks.
Friday April 06,
2018
Elbonian Interference
Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation
Transcript
Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!
Wednesday May 09,
2018
Our Api
Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?
Wednesday May 16,
2018
Facial Recognition Software
Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.