Wag Hard Comic Strips - Page 24

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324 Results for Wag Hard

View 231 - 240 results for wag hard comic strips. Discover the best "Wag Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #office, #Environment, #risks, #mistakes, #fist, #hard job

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The Boss says, "My job is to create an environment where employees feel safe taking risks." The Boss says, "My other job is punishing employees who make any kind of mistake." The Boss says, "My point is that I'm glad I don't have your job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #piece of paper, #request, #office, #deadline, #vague, #failure, #work hard

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Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #worried, #nervousness, #humor, #laziness, #occupation

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Dilbert says, "I'm tense because the company is downsizing and I have no project." Wally says, "Being worthless at work is only hard for the first ten years. After that it's a lifestyle." Dilbert says, "I didn't say I was worthless." Wally says, "Now you're making me nostalgic for my old denial phase."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #birth, #doubtful, #editing, #wikipedia, #lying

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Topper Carol says, "My first baby weighed 12 pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check wikipedia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #violence, #punching, #pain, #meeting, #angry, #economy, #business

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Alice says, "I hear you have an MBA, just like the jerks who ruined the economy." Alice says, "I'm going to punch you so hard that it hurts everyone who has the same degree." Dilbert says, "What as that hideous noise?" Man says, "Ow!!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #discussing, #plan, #deception, #greed, #corruption

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll start ten mutual funds, each with randomly chosen stocks." Dogbert says, "Later we'll build our advertisements around whichever one does the best purely by chance." Dogbert says, "My goal is to be the premier provider of imaginary expertise." Wag! Wag!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #meeting, #idea, #changing, #greed, #dangerous, #mean, #cruel, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need to make our pricing plan more confusing." Dogbert says, "And change our packaging to that hard plastic that always cuts the consumes' hands." Dogbert says, "I've been in a bad mood since everyone started talking about capping my excessive pay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity, #forgetful, #yelling, #ignorant

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Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"