2007 Comic Strips - Page 24
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
Sunday August 19,
2007
Tags changes, pension plan, company wide, email, read email, compulsion, details, engineers, brain, best meeting, humiliate boss, called out
Transcript
The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday August 20,
2007
Tags highest paid, tell each employee, dont tell, secrecy, lies, control
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "Dilbert, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "I can't believe I never thought of that before." Catbert: "Yeah, especially since you're the highest paid manager."
Tuesday August 21,
2007
Tags checked box, drink more, face lift, long neck, see over cubicles, too high, disproportinate
Transcript
"Then I found out there are two kinds of face-lifts." "I accidentally checked the box for the kind that lets you see over the top of your cubicle." "So I try to drink more, but that isn't working out either."
Wednesday August 22,
2007
Tags stock holder meeting, gadflies, stock price dropped, sleep at night
Transcript
Stockholder meeting CEO: Do we have any questions from Gadflies? You earned 72 million dollars while our stick price dropped nine percent. How can you sleep at night? CEO: ZZZZZ
Thursday August 23,
2007
Tags dreams, childhood dreams, fabric covered box, living proof, Women, don't like winners, excuse for rejection
Transcript
Dilbert: "When I was a boy, I dreamed of one day working in a fabric-covered box." "I'm living proof that dreams can come true." "Women don't like winners either."
Friday August 24,
2007
Tags future product features, 3 priorities, essential, critical, must have, pretend to add value
Transcript
Dilbert: "As you requested, I sorted the future product features into three priorities." "Let me know which group I should stop working on." Essential Critical Must-Have "This is the part where you pretend to add value."
Saturday August 25,
2007
Tags goodwill, balance sheet, mysetrious buyer, million dollars, job satisaction
Transcript
CEO: We have too much goodwill on the balance sheet. I decided to sell some of it. "A mysterious buyer offered a million dollars for the right to decrease our goodwill." Dogbert: "You might have a bit less job satisfaction next week."
Sunday August 26,
2007
Tags no rasie, oo many questions, can't do job, saved emails, policies and procedures, misperception, buy software, permission, emails, another question
Transcript
The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."
Monday August 27,
2007
Tags good will, purchased, redesigned headquarters, horses rump, executive suite
Transcript
Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."
Tuesday August 28,
2007
Tags wealthy investor, list of cutomers, products to injure, lawyer, contract, list, legal
Transcript
The Boss: We financed our expansion by selling the goodwill on our balance sheet to a wealthy investor. Dogbert: "I made a list of the customers that I want your products to injure." "Your lawyer did a bad job on the contract." The Boss: "His name is on your list."

