Costs For Strategy Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

254 Results for Costs For Strategy

View 241 - 250 results for costs for strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Costs For Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, deceit, contract, cost, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?

A One Variable World

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A One Variable World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags topper, Dilbert, genius, rejection, variable, cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper: I reject your idea because the costs are high. Dilbert: In a one-variable world, you would be a genius. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I meant every word of it.

Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Tweaking Variables

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, strategy, stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Asok Lives In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, cost, criticism, house, office, office workers, expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

Homeless Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags concern, cost, employees, homeless persons, office workers, pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, office, retrain, proposal, employees, risk, cost, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

What Good Is Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, video conference, stock market, money, rich, lost, pandemic, health, underpay, stategy

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Should Have Done It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.