Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 25
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 241 - 250 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 01,
2004
Tags sexy project, boost career, sound good better job, nano tech nology, fighting terrorists
Transcript
The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.
Thursday November 04,
2004
Tags bottle neck bill, do his job, miscellaneous
Transcript
Dilbert: "I need your help forcing Bottleneck Bill to do his job so I can do my job." "I'll be all over that... as soon as I finish other things." "What other things?" "Well, for example, miscellaneous."
Monday December 20,
2004
Tags online ereume, older chubby men, key words, married men, job offers, cousin, Advice, one line job hunting
Transcript
"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."
Wednesday December 22,
2004
Tags objectives are vague, unmeasurable, not inspired, achieve full ptential, bad job
Transcript
"I am concerned because my objectivess are vague and unmeasurable." "As a result, I am not inspired to achieve my full potential... and... um..." "Did I just say I'm doing a bad job and ask you to punish me?" "That's what I heard."
Thursday December 23,
2004
Tags combined, dating service, online job site, system
Transcript
"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""
Sunday June 27,
1999
Tags Wally, meeting, does nothing, angrily identify problems, not job, ambiguous, taking forever, business
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, and others are in a meeting. Wally raises his hand and says, "Someone should take care of that problem!" Dilbert turns to Wally and says, "YOU should take care of it." Wally replies, "I can't do everything." Alice says, "You don't do anything." Asok adds, "Not a single thing." Wally says, "It's my job to angrily identify problems." The Boss, with his head in his hands, interjects, "Wally..." The Boss continues, "This is NOT your job!" Wally asks, "What?" Wally is up in arms as he says to the Boss, "Everything is so ambiguous here! Someone should take care of that problem!" Turning to Dilbert, Wally adds, "Is it just me, or is this meeting taking forever?"
Sunday November 07,
1999
Tags newly designated, fire warden, bitter, assignment, regular job, last one out, safety, fire, panic, flushing self, exit door
Transcript
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."
Wednesday January 16,
2002
Tags best, hire back, not old job, sales, train you to lie, worst, desparate, take anything, need money, job, take advantage of, business
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."
Wednesday March 09,
2005
Tags rat problem, reporting, rat bait, unwashed, job satisfaction, calling names, being mean
Transcript
Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."
Wednesday March 16,
2005
Tags set a conference call, secretary's job, carol, ask question, set up appointmet
Transcript
Carol: Asok, your pointy-haired boss wants you to set up a conference call with all the division managers." Asok: "Um... wouldn't that be his secretary's job? And aren't you his secretary?" Carol: "Hey, I know. Why don't you try to get an appointment with him so you can ask that question."


