Making Popcorn Comic Strips - Page 25
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276 Results for Making Popcorn
View 241 - 250 results for making popcorn comic strips. Discover the best "Making Popcorn" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 15,
2017
Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 29,
2017
Worthless Financial Projections
Tags #money, #finances, #big business, #projection, #prediction, #guessing, #estimate
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.
Tuesday November 28,
2017
Financial Forecaster Quit
Tags #big business, #money, #projection, #prediction, #Advice
Transcript
Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.
Tuesday March 06,
2018
When Clarity Is Not Your Friend
Tags #language, #jargon, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Your project summary needs mare jargon and acronyms. The goal is to make ourselves look smart while making the readers feel dumb. Dilbert: What about clarity? Boss: Clarity is not our friend on this one.
Sunday June 24,
2018
Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?
Monday July 16,
2018
Elbonian Sales Video Assignment
Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.
Thursday August 02,
2018
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt
Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.
Wednesday October 10,
2018
Dogbert The Insultant
Tags #Dogbert, #business, #insultant, #journal, #week, #fat, #stupid, #question, #list
Transcript
Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.
Sunday November 18,
2018
Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.
Monday November 12,
2018
Dilbert Needs A New Chair
Tags #boss, #chair, #complaining, #criticism, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.