2007 Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spreadsheet, terrible job, boos, meeting, office, poorly conceived, complexity of real world, wrong cells, numbers don't lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manage, spreadsheets, emails, luck, unimportant subordinates, bad mood, insulting, low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Cancel all of my meetings. I'm going to manage by making spreadsheets and sending e-mails." "With any luck, I'll never again need to speak with unimportant subordinates such as yourself." "C23 is in a bad mood today." "@#$%^!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tall pants, old fashioned, hairpiece, glove on tail, money to treasury, first primary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert for president, terrorits, skull, salad bowls, steal money, vote, pollution has viatamins, lies, fabrications, intimidations, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presdient, first 100 days, carve name, furniture, switzerland

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assisnation, campigning, hateful, rat, running mate, unpopular, vice presidentail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Ratbert, I want you to be my vice presidential running mate." "Your job is to be so unpopular that no one will want to assassinate me." Ratbert: "I can do that!" Dilbert: "Seriously. Stop campaigning on my shoe." grrr!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags set up meeting, review board, new technologies, decide, answer question

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, invested, wallpapering fog, ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I didn't understand anything you just said. Go away. The Boss: "Our CEO doesn't like your idea. He didn't say why." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel like you're wallpapering fog?" Wally: "I don't get that invested."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags too much work, solution, coffee swilling squirrel, work faster, time stands still, slow, too lsow, hyper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Carol, I give you far too much work, Theres only one solution. I hired a coffee swilling beaver to show you how to work faster. Squirrel: when I watch you, its as if time stands still.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags impulse control, chew on pencil, beaver, borrowed pencil, tree falls, wild

View Transcript

Transcript

Coffee swilling Beaver Beaver: If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it.... Id still chew the bejeezus out f it because I have no impulse control. That reminds me: the pencil I borrowed from you isn't coming back.