Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 25
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1000 Results for Business Failures/Bankruptcies
View 241 - 250 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 28,
2000
Tags cd rom business ard, browsed personal oage, conversation
Transcript
A woman tells Dilbert over dinner: "I reviewed your CD-ROM business card last night." Dilbert says: "I browsed your personal web page." Dilbert suggests: "Maybe we should do some conversation." She replies: "I already had one in my head."
Monday May 08,
2000
Tags generic self help, consultant, keep a journal, lead by example, business
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."
Wednesday May 10,
2000
Tags melt polar ice caps, doom humanity, part of humanity, marketing, help destroy planet, free t shirts, business
Transcript
Dilbert says to Carol, "This product would melt the polar ice caps and doom humanity." Carol replies, "That's okay." Dilbert says, "You're a part of humanity." Carol answers, "No, I'm in marketing." Dilbert says to Carol, "I won't help you destroy the planet." Carol answers, "That's what I said until I saw the free T-shirts."
Monday June 12,
2000
Tags employees, ignorant, intranet collaboration, sign it, their ignorance, tools, dogbert consults, business
Transcript
As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."
Thursday June 15,
2000
Tags fixed bug, meeting, not inviting, scheduling people, accomplishment, fixed the bug, inviting, business
Transcript
Asok says to the Boss, "My accomplishment this week was scheduling fifty people to discuss the bug in our product." Alice says to Asok, "I fixed the bug this morning." Alice continues, "And thanks for not inviting me to the meeting."
Saturday June 17,
2000
Tags meeting, strange words, make sense, pow, buy card, business
Transcript
Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Uh-oh...suddenly this meeting and all the strange words make sense." Wally's head explodes. Wally says to Dilbert, "It's your turn to buy the card."
Thursday July 06,
2000
Tags filing system, reorganized files, stress is gone, lulu, meeting, boss, Dilbert, business
Transcript
LULU: My project was in a death spiral. I leapt into action and reorganized my filing system. The Boss: Did that help? LULU: My stress is gone!
Monday July 17,
2000
Tags marketing, respectfully decline, join hallucination, bah, business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I heard that you won't give marketing the information they need." Dilbert replies, "I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Your system works." Dogbert repies, "Next time try shortening it to 'Bah'.
Wednesday July 19,
2000
Tags global communications, de orbiting satellites, swimming pools, deadly flame balls, speeding toward earth
Transcript
Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."
Sunday July 23,
2000
Tags baby cio, meeting, diapers, nature calls, big words, very advanced, baby, infany, genius, smart, talks, business
Transcript
ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?


