Employee Comic Strips - Page 25
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Character
515 Results for Employee
View 241 - 250 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 01,
2004
Tags stalking new hire, date tomorrow, employee orientation, workplace hazards
Transcript
Alice: hows your stalking of the new hire going? Wally: we have a date for tomorrow. Alice: She's in an employee orientation meeting today. wally: Uh - oh. Module four is about identifying workplace hazards.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 21,
2004
Tags hired feral employee, inexpensive, untrained, eat food, run away
Transcript
I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."
Thursday July 22,
2004
Tags taking chance, indoor plumbing, teach human habits, feral emplyee, trained, office
Transcript
"The feral employee" "I'm taking a chance by hiring you. Dont make me regret it." "Today, one of my seasoned professionals will teach you to use indoor plumbing." "Look! Look at me! The newspaper tucks under the arm!"
Friday July 23,
2004
Tags look untamed, bicycle pants, mow lawn, freak emplyee, child like, chanllenge, animal like
Transcript
"The feral employee" "Hi, little fella. What's your name?" "Will" "You look totally untamed. I like a challenge." "Give me one month and I'll have you wearing bicycle pants while you mow my lawn." "Hissss"
Saturday July 24,
2004
Tags marketing, dumpster diving, feral, product specs, feral employee, business
Transcript
The feral employee Marketing wouldn't give me the product specs. So I made this face and rifled through their dumpster. and you found the product specs? French fry.
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags evil director, himan resources, cheaper, employee wellness program, sick days, incentives, highly paid workers, more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Saturday August 28,
2004
Tags suspicious, nap, evil director, wellness program, human resources, business
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."
Sunday August 29,
2004
Tags employee attitude survey, bigger bonuses, happy, money, lie, no lying, surveys, science, new couch
Transcript
The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!
Sunday October 03,
2004
Tags college, emplyee, first pay check, freak out, know about her, paid in cash, dedcutions, education
Transcript
Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?
Tuesday October 05,
2004
Tags snob, business snob, shake hand, Dilbert, buck passer, cheaper, regular employee
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

