Hows My Walking Comic Strips - Page 25

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254 Results for Hows My Walking

View 241 - 250 results for hows my walking comic strips. Discover the best "Hows My Walking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Diet Preferences

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Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference room, #office workers, #chitchat, #bore, #diet, #preferences

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dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Stress Can Kill You

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Stress Can Kill You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coronavirus, #cortisol, #dead man walking, #depress, #fear, #immune, #increase, #scared, #social distancing, #system, #virus, #health

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dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!

Human Walking This Way

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Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #exercise, #fish, #health, #human, #social distancing, #walking, #water

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dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

Dilbert Hates Safety

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Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

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dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Building Codes

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Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase

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boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Dilbert Has To Be Right

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Dilbert Has To Be Right  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #exercise, #arrogance, #Right, #therapy, #health

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dilbert and tine walking. tina: you argue with everything because you just have to be right. dilbert: how can you tell the difference between someone who "has to be right" versus someone who is right and you need therapy? tina: you're doing it again. dilbert: or am i?

Microwaving Fish

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Microwaving Fish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #microwave, #fish, #working from home, #smell, #rotting, #corpse, #cubicle

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boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.

Non Covid Cough

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Non Covid Cough - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #covid-19, #health & safety, #exercise, #cough, #control, #infection, #face mask

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dilbert walking outside with face mask on. dilbert thinking: oh, no... i feel a non-coved cough coming on. must... control it... to avoid... looking infected. dilbert on ground holding mouth. man on sidewalk: what's up with him? women on sidewalk: he looks infected.

Nickname For Dilbert

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Nickname For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #nickname, #geek, #insult, #business, #odds, #name, #actual

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ceo: i came up with a nickname for you because you're such a geek. ceo points at dilbert. "dilbert." dilbert: that's my actual name. ceo walking away thinking: what were the odds of that?