Kept The Thought Comic Strips - Page 25

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289 Results for Kept The Thought

View 241 - 250 results for kept the thought comic strips. Discover the best "Kept The Thought" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

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Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product

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Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Asok's Body Double

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Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger

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Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

Coaching Ted

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Coaching Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quitting, #fired, #annoy, #irritate, #drive away, #repel

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Boss: Ted, you have not performed up to my expectations, so I thought I would spend more time coaching you. I'll be with you every minute of the day. Ted: I quit! Catbert: I told you that would work. Boss: I didn't want to believe it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #obliviousness, #future, #psychic

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Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.

Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo

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Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #heat, #charger, #phone, #coffee

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Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Cublices Or Open Office Plan

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Cublices Or Open Office Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #concept, #cubicle, #floorplan, #laziness, #hiding

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Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

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Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

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Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.