Leaves Body Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

284 Results for Leaves Body

View 241 - 250 results for leaves body comic strips. Discover the best "Leaves Body" comics from Dilbert.com.

Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Scott's Birthday Cake

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scott's Birthday Cake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Why People Have Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why People Have Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #evolution, #consciousness, #bodies, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.

New Company Mascot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Company Mascot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunchback, #posture, #transformation, #health, #body

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I hear you're undergoing an identity transition. Dilbert: No, I just have bad posture from looking at a screen all day. I'm not literally turning into Quasimodo. Catbert: That's too bad, because we need a new mascot for the company and you would be perfect.

Carol Leaves Kids

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.