Less Creepy Comic Strips - Page 25

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283 Results for Less Creepy

View 241 - 250 results for less creepy comic strips. Discover the best "Less Creepy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #praise, #admiration, #anger, #compliments

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Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

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Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Ceo's Yacht

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Ceo's Yacht - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #money, #salary, #wages, #net worth, #rich people, #yacht, #obliviousness, #saving, #cost

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CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.

People Keep Stealing His Ideas

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People Keep Stealing His Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas

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Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.

Robot High Five

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Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #soul, #patience, #frustration, #artificial intelligence, #technology, #emotions, #anger

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Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???

Charging Client For Thinking

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Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

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Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Asok Asks For His Job Back

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Asok Asks For His Job Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #driver, #money, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #disillusionment

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Asok: I'm here to beg for my job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than I'd hoped. My mental health and my bladder have been stretched to their limits. Boss: Maybe we could discuss this over a tiled floor area.