Mind Comic Strips - Page 25
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260 Results for Mind
View 241 - 250 results for mind comic strips. Discover the best "Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
Wednesday October 09,
2019
Your Real Scheme
Tags #office workers, #office, #business, #scheme, #power, #costs, #mind, #reader, #psychology
Transcript
dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that
Monday October 21,
2019
Busy To Mentor
Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy
Transcript
boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Monday January 27,
2020
Mind Reader
Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology
Transcript
dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.
Wednesday April 08,
2020
Mind Control
Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice
Transcript
dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.
Tuesday April 14,
2020
Working On Vacation
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken
Transcript
dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.
Tuesday April 21,
2020
Coronavirus
Tags #24 hours, #business, #coronavirus, #health, #home, #remote, #tragic, #work from home
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.
Thursday August 20,
2020
Study 5 G First
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #5g, #dangerous, #study, #research, #reporter
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous. dilbert: is it dangerous? boss: how would i know? dilbert: maybe i should study it first. boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.
Monday October 26,
2020
A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong
Tags #business, #correct, #friends, #mistakes, #sarcasm, #technology, #watch, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.