Ted Comic Strips - Page 25

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448 Results for Ted

View 241 - 250 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gossip, spreading rumors, monkey could do, corporate newsletter, trick question

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Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workplace rumours, idiot, false rumor, charging for rumors

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Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rumor control, paid per rumor, terrorit training campo, exotic dancer, weekends

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Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retirement plans, for losers, winners keep jobs, no stress, free coffee, cost estimates, worthless leech

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Asok says, "Wally, what do you plan to do after you retire?" Wally says, "Retirement is for losers, Asok." Wally says, "Winners keep their jobs but stop caring about the quality of their work." Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty sure the winner in that example is the leech."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags position eleiminated, performance, not told, position, no explination, just a trick, feel less awkward, hot replacement

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The Boss says, "Ted, your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "What? You never told me there was anything wrong with my performance!" The Boss says, "It's not about your performance. Your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "Well, that seems mighty convenient." Ted says, "This way you can replace me without explaining why I never got a bad performance review." Ted says, "is this just a trick to make you feel less awkward while firing me?" A woman says, "I thought you said he'd be gone by now." The Boss says, "Is there any comfort in knowing your replacement is totally hot?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, money for cake, grossly overpais, exacerbate, unfairness, high cholestrol

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Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags head explode, one more thing, clean up, aisle three, work, over worked, crazy

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The Boss says, "Ted, I know you said your head would explode if I ask you to do one more thing, but..." POW! The Boss says, "Cleanup on aisle three."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred

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The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apologize for efficiency, apology, how far, meeting, reasonable assumptions, timeline for deployment, vacation, without knowledge of insight, business

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The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coldness of the grave, dress it up, high in demand, mad, time, time management, waiting

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Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.