Wrong Comic Strips - Page 25
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347 Results for Wrong
View 241 - 250 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 03,
2015
Working Sixty Hours A Week
Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity
Transcript
Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.
Tuesday August 04,
2015
Trust Yourself
Tags motivation, inspiration, logic, obliviousness, Advice, executives, motivational speaking
Transcript
CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags death, death & dying, machine, robot, mortality, life, soul, consciousness, medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
Saturday December 12,
2015
Robot High Five
Tags soul, patience, frustration, artificial intelligence, technology, emotions, anger
Transcript
Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???
Thursday January 07,
2016
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong
Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education
Transcript
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Sunday January 17,
2016
Tags sexism, sexist, misogyny, conversation, talking
Transcript
Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.
Tuesday February 02,
2016
Something About Asok Was Wrong
Tags terrorism, terrorist, radicalization, leadership, managers, frustration, humor
Transcript
Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.
Tuesday February 09,
2016
Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo
Tags hunchback, posture, slouch, attitude, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: This job is turning me into Quasimodo. Tina: Is it mostly a posture thing, or do you have some of the Quasi's attitude as well? Dilbert; What's wrong with my posture? Tina: I could ask you what's wrong with his attitude.
Thursday March 24,
2016
Boss Uses His Gut
Tags gut, instinct, decision, deciding, logic, stomach, mouth, guest artist, joel friday
Transcript
Boss: Your analysis does not conform to my preconceived notions. So my gut instinct is telling me that you are wrong. Dilbert: When your gut talks to you, what does it use for a mouth?

