2020 Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Where The Problems Are

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, application, app, technology, improvement, dumb, implement, problems, insult, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

Package Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Package Design  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vp of sales, technology, sales, selling, design, proposal, package, jump, roof, crazy, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.

Not A Monopoly

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

No More Id Badges

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Wally Will Look Into It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Will Look Into It   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, help, forget, note, procrastination, sarcasm, surprise

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, creature, cynical, doom, experience, face mask, golem, jaded, lord of the rings, office workers, work, coffee, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Boss Not Returning Messages

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Compared To Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Compared To Alice  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparision, face mask, good, office workers, punish, sarcasm, selfish, tragic, work

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, wrong, decision, career, assess, life, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Authority On Your Opinion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.