Employees Comic Strips - Page 25
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581 Results for Employees
View 241 - 250 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 15,
2012
Tags big business, budget, contract employees, training budget, training, contractor budget
Transcript
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday December 29,
2011
Tags conversation, employees, executives, on line class, develop charisma, change the world, die from stree, health issues, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.
Friday December 23,
2011
Tags big business, cost & standard of living, green goals, recycling bins, company documents, corporate secuirty, blue recycling bins, same policies
Transcript
Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.
Tuesday December 20,
2011
Tags employees, interviews, tools for job, resource, agree to disagree, business
Transcript
Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.
Wednesday November 30,
2011
Tags employees, secretaries (office), manually entered data, entire weekend, die monster!, business
Transcript
Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags annoyance, another anonymous email, correlation, employees, link to article, worlds worst boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Wednesday November 16,
2011
Tags different, employees, goals, work little, year ahead, your goals, my goals, business
Transcript
Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.
Friday November 11,
2011
Tags employees, executives, ignorance (knowledge), technical details, idea, deciosns, people involved, pale and poorly dressed, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?
Thursday November 10,
2011
Tags employees, executives, busy converting, lower morle, stirring up trouble, departments, undercommunicating, business
Transcript
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.

