Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 25
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701 Results for Lying Down
View 241 - 250 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 03,
2009
Tags history, lying, pride, selfishness, worried, recession, frightening, crimean war, cold stench, death, use moisturizer, old enough, experience, education, medical
Transcript
Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"
Wednesday December 31,
2008
Tags anger, firing, frustration, rudeness, profits falling, worthless sack of monkey spit, birds ate brain, regurgitate pellets
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."
Monday December 22,
2008
Tags blame, costume, date, lying, work clothes, scapegoat, depatment, entire comapny, men in unifrom
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Friday October 17,
2008
Tags stepping down, ceo, money stolen, hellhole, huge bag of cash, helicopter, writes book, buy book
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."
Saturday October 04,
2008
Tags new vp of finance, secret offshore bank, forgot account number, password, name of country, not so good
Transcript
Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."
Thursday October 02,
2008
Tags cow supervisor, bovine overlord, usurper, food chain, kind of cool, position in food chain
Transcript
Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"
Thursday August 14,
2008
Tags high altitude view, bunch of termites, termites hate each other, eat same log
Transcript
The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."
Saturday July 19,
2008
Tags new job, miserable and helpless, Women, attracted to men, salary ranges, trophy wives, carnival skanks
Transcript
Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."
Wednesday June 25,
2008
Tags lying, practice, productive, professional, vacation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm in charge while our pointy-haired boss is on vacation." Dilbert says, "I expect each of you to be professional and productive during this time." Wally says, "Nice lying." Dilbert says, "I practiced in front of a mirror."
Monday June 16,
2008
Tags baby eater, gossipsize, vicious rumors, taken down, pushed out, mean spirited
Transcript
Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"


