Mean Comic Strips - Page 25

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314 Results for Mean

View 241 - 250 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #coins flipped, #pstchic, #cincidences, #seven rotations, #inexplicable hovering, #hen noises

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Dilbert forwns and says, "Just because you guessed a hundred coin flips in a row doesn't mean you're psychic." Coincidences so happen." Dilbert flips the coin again, high in the air. Ratbert says, "I call seven rotations followed by inexplicable hovering and hen noises." The coin floats in mid-air. Dilbert points and says, "That is luck... luck, luck, luck, luck, luck!" Ratbert says, "Are we done now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #new fog, #rolling in, #mean one thing, #time to reorganize

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A cloud moves towards Alice and she says, "A new fog is rolling in." Dilbert sits at his computer, his head obscured by fog. "This can mean only one thing." The Boss walks up to Carol, fog pouring from his ears and says, "Carol, schedule a staff meeting. It's time to reorganize the department."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval

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The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss plane crash, #leave early, #mixed feelings, #plane crash, #want cake, #mourn, #celebrate

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Alice leans into the conference room where Wally and Dilbert are sitting at the table. Alice says, "I just heard that our pointy-haired boss's plane crashed." Wally says, "I must admit I have mixed feelings." Dilbert says, "You don't know if you should mourn or celebrate, right?" Wally says, "No, I mean celebrate or leave early." Asok the Intern walk in wearing a party hat and says, "Hurry if you want some cake."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #network systems, #software manual, #manuals, #mean spirirted, #meet half way, #door, #window

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Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #assignment done, #copies, #black and white, #colors, #irrelevant changes, #printing

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Wally hands a graph to The Boss. He says, "It's done." The Boss respons, "I thought I asked for that to be in color." Wally says, "Black and white are both colors. So technically... oh, wait I see what you mean." Wally sits in front of his PC. Dilbert says to him, "Is that all it took to satisfy his need for irrelevent changes?" Wally says, "And I did it while the color copies were printing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #asap, #a stupid acting person, #deadlines, #embarrasing

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The Boss says, "Alice, I need this ASAP." Alice asks, "ASAP? Does that stand for A Stupid-Acting Person, i.e., someone who ignores tasks until the deadline?" The Boss walks away thinking, "That was embarrassing. I hope the other things I say don't mean anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #critical, #dept phone list, #list alphabetically, #sort phone number

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Dilbert stands at the secretary's desk and says, "Carol, I don't mean to be critical about the department phone list you put together . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it's traditional to list people alphabetically, not sorted by phone number." Dilbert asks, "Because what possible use . . .?" Carol's telephone rings. She looks at the display and says, "Incoming call from . . . Let's see . . . It's Wally . . . I can ignore it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #new org chart, #graphical lay out, #mentor

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "The new org chart has my name lower than yours, but it doesn't mean anything." Dilbert shows Wally the chart and says, "See? It wouldn't all fit across the page. It's just a graphical layout thing, that's all." Alice holds out her coffee mug and says, "Hey, Dil-boy, put a head on this and fetch my mail." Wally asks Dilbert, "Are you asking me to be your mentor?"