Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 25
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 241 - 250 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 21,
2019
Hallucinations At Meetings
Tags business, office, office workers, server, hallucinate, network
Transcript
in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday July 19,
2019
Homeless Employees
Tags concern, cost, employees, homeless persons, office workers, pretend
Transcript
Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.
Wednesday July 17,
2019
Asok Lives In The Office
Tags boss, cost, criticism, house, office, office workers, expectations
Transcript
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.
Monday July 15,
2019
More People Working At Home
Tags boss, employees, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?
Sunday July 14,
2019
Finding A Scapegoat
Tags business, office, project, ceo, scapegaot, climate change
Transcript
the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.
Saturday July 13,
2019
Read It With My Own Eyes
Tags argument, communication, email, frustrated, office, office workers, plans
Transcript
Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!
Friday July 12,
2019
Unforseen Risks
Tags blame, boss, office, office workers, sarcasm, risks
Transcript
Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.
Monday July 08,
2019
Boss Needs Copies
Tags boss, frustrated, irritation, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.
Sunday July 07,
2019
Layoff Package
Tags business, fire, office, office workers, buyout
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.
Saturday July 06,
2019
Wally Uses Speakerphonetif
Tags cell phone, office, office workers, speaker phone, voice-texting, click
Transcript
the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.


