Thinking Comic Strips - Page 25

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View 241 - 250 results for thinking comic strips. Discover the best "Thinking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cat bert, hr dorector, nput of employees, morons, sing loudly, thinking, pinball wizard

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sadistic nut, dennis, insulting, sadistic, meeting, assume skills, thousand dead camels, rotting flesh, business

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A Young Woman, Dennis, and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The young woman asks, "Are there any questions?" Dennis, the sadistic nut, yells, "Why does your body lotion smell like the rotting flest of a thousand dead camels?" The Young Woman turns to Wally and says, "I assume he has valuable skills." Wally tells her, "No, you're thinking of a prima donna."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags document prcedures, requirement, engineers, submit time cards, magic cylinder, trash can, gone by morning, five years, no one complained

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Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags real boss, prison tube, spaceship, wear shorts, quality of work, replaced by alien, boss is alien, no one knows

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Alien The Boss, with his tail wagging behind him, walks through the office thinking, "No one really suspects that the real Boss is on a prison tube on my spaceship." Asok the Intern asks, "Is it okay if I wear shorts?" Alien The Boss responds, "Sure. I only care about the quality of your work." Asok, Alice, and Dilbert eating lunch. Asok asks, "If our boss were replaced by an alien, would that be such a bad thing?" Dilbert replies, "It depends on the alien."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eliminate privacy, dignity, share hotel rooms, business trips, tandem showering policy

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert typing at computer terminal. Catbert types, "Consistent with our effort to eliminate privacy and dignity..." Dilbert at his computer terminal reading what Catbert is typing. Catbert's text reads, "...employees must share hotel rooms on all business trips." Catbert at his desk in front of his computer thinking, "After they get used to this, I'll introduce the tandem showering policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget froecast, missing, Dilbert, the boss, sat on dcoument

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The Boss peaks into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Where's the budget forecast I asked for?" Dilbert replies, "I put it on your chair this morning." The Boss walks away thinking, "I'd better look again." A view of his back shows that there is a piece of paper on his behind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telephone shyness, make business calls, restroom, shyness passes, Dilbert, office

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Dilbert in his cubicle in his office next to his computer staring at the phone thinking, "I'm having a severe case of telephone shyness." Dilbert thinking, "I'm afraid to pick up the phone and make business calls." Dilbert entering the restroom thinking, "I'll duck into a restroom stall until the shyness passes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pompous airbag, deflate, arrogance, tricvia, intelligence, elbonia, wet laundry, chewy casserole

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Dogbert stands outside of a cubicle with a memo in hand and asks, "Are you the pompous airbag of the office?" Man in the cubicle answers, "Indeed." Dogbert says to the man, "I've been asked to deflate you." Dogbert continues, "My sources tell me that you combine arrogance with trivia and try to pass it off as intelligence." The man exclaims, "That's because I'm surrounded by fools who don't even know the capital of Elbonia!" Dogbert displays the memo to the man and says, " I have a signed statement from your wife..." Dogbert continues, "...that you put wet laundry in the oven last night." The man looks into his computer screen while thinking to himself, "That explains the chewy casserole she served me this morning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free flu shots, wealth stock holders, hunt down, shoot flu darts, not flu prevention shits

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Catbert is standing at the entrance to Wally's cubicle. Catbert tells him, "The company is giving free flu shots, Wally." A man holding a rifle, wearing safari gear and glasses, reminiscent of Teddy Roosevelt, stands next to Catbert. Catbert continues, "The shots will be delivered by wealthy stockholders who will hunt you down and shoot you with flu darts." Wally, with the barrel of the rifle pointed in his back, asks, "At least I won't get the flu, right?" Catbert replies, "You're probably thinking of the flu prevention shots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags above salary midpoint, stock options, interpersonal skills

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In The Boss's office, The Boss tells Alice, "I can't give you a raise because you're above the salary midpoint. But at least your stock options are doing great!" Alice says, "I don't have any stock options." The Boss says, "Oh. I'm probably thinking of me." The Boss says, "Next, it says I should coach you on your interpersonal skills."