Valuable Advice Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

256 Results for Valuable Advice

View 241 - 250 results for valuable advice comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, zimbu the monkey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, ratbert, emotons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a chair and sighs. Ratbert walks into the room and says, "Hey hey! What's this? Are we feeling blue?" Dilbert replies, "Go away, Ratbert." Ratbert thinks, "This could be my chance to bond and become a valuable member of the family." Ratbert grabs Dilbert's shoe and says, "I'm going to hug your foot until you turn that frown upside down." Ratbert continues, "Now tell me why you feel sad." Dilbert replies, "I just walked through something disgusting with my new shoes." Ratbert says, "One of us isn't trying to make this relationship work." Dilbert asks, "Could you do the other shoe now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, employees, valuable, asset, the boss, afraid, carbon, paper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, Ted and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuable asset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon paper."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, financial, adviser, churn, burn, mutual, funds, worthless, equity, brokerage, risky

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "I recommend our 'Churn 'N' Burn' family of mutual funds." The man continues, "We'll turn your worthless equity into valuable brokerage fees in just three days!" Dilbert asks, "Is it risky?" The advisor replies, "Are you kidding?! We have actual brochures!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, drum beating, robert, warrior, book, rejecting, port, cinammon, snap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm joining a manly drum beating group." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "Well, see, this poet Robert Bly wrote a book about being a manly warrior . . ." Dogbert continues, "I haven't actually read the book . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But it has something to do with beating drums and rejecting your mother." Dogbert says, "Let me get this straight . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You're taking advice from a POET on how to be manly?" Dilbert and three men stand around holding drums. A man asks Dilbert, "Have you tasted the cinnamon snap tea?" Dilbert thinks, "Maybe I should have read the book first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, stamps, valuable, philately, nowhere, prank

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table holding a magnifying glass and looking at stamps. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Help me look for valuable stamps. You're better at this than I am." Dilbert says, "Philately will get you nowhere." Dilbert sits at the table by himself with stamps stuck to his face.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags judicial proceedings, Dilbert, Dogbert, valuable, society, free, jury duty, lives, letter, civic duty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, dawn, bob, dinosaurs, cult, trucks, questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs asks, "Uh . . . Dilbert, could we get your advice?" Bob says, "We just joined Dogbert's new cult." Dawn says, "And he ordered us to kill each other for questioning him." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Maybe you could just shove each other in front of trucks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, valuable, collect, good ones, stamps, fulfilling, adrenalin rush

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table and looks at a stamp through a magnifying glass. Dogbert asks, "Why do people collect stamps?" Dilbert replies, "Because they're valuable." Dogbert asks, "Why are they valuable?" Dilbert replies, "Because people collect up all the good ones." Dogbert says, "So, you collect stamps because they're valuable, and they're valuable because you collect them." Dilbert replies, "Right." Dogbert says, "Sounds pretty fulfilling." Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I just do it for the adrenalin rush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, woman, monogamy, field, shuttle, Dogbert, rides, uno, love, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm just a one-woman kind of guy." Dilbert continues, "Some guys like to play the field. Not me. I'm happy with just one woman." Dilbert continues, "Just one. Uno. That's best for me." Dogbert says, "You can take her for rides in the Space Shuttle you'll never have either."