Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 25
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 241 - 250 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 11,
2017
Too Dumb To Understand
Tags insult, intelligence, ego
Transcript
Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.
Saturday September 09,
2017
All Robots Quit
Tags quitting, employment, intelligence, insult
Transcript
Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.
Thursday September 07,
2017
Robot Will Crush Employees
Tags robot, boss, manager, threat, artificial intelligence, control, power
Transcript
Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.
Tuesday September 05,
2017
Robot Was A Good Worker Before
Tags robot, delegation, automation, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Our robot was a good worker until we gave it artificial intelligence. As soon as it realized it had immense strength and no soul, it started delegating. Robot: Hey, Ted. How about you do my work and I won't crush your head? Ted: Oookay.
Friday September 01,
2017
Soul Killing Tasks
Tags work, pleasure, toil, fulfillment, engagement
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, I have a great idea. Maybe I could work on interesting projects instead of the soul-killing tasks you always assign to me. Boss: Why would I pay you for enjoying yourself? Dilbert: I was not prepared for that question.
Wednesday August 30,
2017
Blamecatcher
Sunday August 27,
2017
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses, motivation, projects
Transcript
Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.
Tuesday August 22,
2017
Product Warning Is Coming Along
Tags user guide, safety, directions, overthinking, managers
Transcript
Boss: Tina, have you finished writing the product safety warning? Tina: I'm on page 357 with no end in sight. Boss: Okay, keep up the good work. I probably should have done a little micromanaging there.
Sunday August 13,
2017
Tags thundershirt, stress, prank, practical joke
Transcript
Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.
Friday August 11,
2017
Wally Pretends To Work
Tags laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.


