Catbert Comic Strips - Page 25
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Character
655 Results for Catbert
View 241 - 250 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 28,
2004
Tags spouses get benefits, marry each other, fluorescent light, walls head, director of hr, save money
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."
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Monday May 03,
2004
Tags 80 hour week, crazy talk, less work, loofah, evil director, human resources, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.
Wednesday May 19,
2004
Saturday June 26,
2004
Tags low pay, unpleasant work enviornment, applicants, miss old days, dental plan
Transcript
The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!
Saturday July 10,
2004
Tags evil director, himan resources, good bye party, making t shirts, last of cake
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: We're planning a goodbye party for downsizes. Im making T-shirts so its easy to tell who the special guest are. Dilbert: I got the last of the cake. Im special.
Monday July 19,
2004
Tags hairball, stock options, evil director, human resources, bous system, kindness of management, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.
Tuesday July 20,
2004
Tags trained employees, feral employees, in alley, animals, creamer, crouched
Transcript
The boss: we can't afford to hire any trained employees. Catbert: hire feral employees. The boss: where do I find feral employees? Catbert: I saw some in the alley. The bossL who wants a creamer?
Saturday August 21,
2004
Tags no annual raises, ouift, cafeteria napkins, colonize mars, distractions, guide conversation away
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags evil director, himan resources, cheaper, employee wellness program, sick days, incentives, highly paid workers, more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Saturday August 28,
2004
Tags suspicious, nap, evil director, wellness program, human resources, business
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."

