Ability To Love Comic Strips - Page 25

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268 Results for Ability To Love

View 241 - 250 results for ability to love comic strips. Discover the best "Ability To Love" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, fitbit, hackers, hacking, information, privacy, spying, surveillance, technology, relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags driver, taxi, ride share, rideshare, money, compensation, wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Asok Meets His Equal

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Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accuse, label, racist, sexist, negotiation, clever, outsmart, money, salary

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Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

Travelling Broadens Worldview

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Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel, perspective, view, worldview

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Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work

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Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, ruse, work ethic, deception, excuse

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Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, ai, robot, hope, dream, depression, meaning, psychology

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Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Contradicting Himself

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Contradicting Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, managing, proof, body cam, camera, recording

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Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.

Ceo Uses Dating App

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 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, app, technology, tinder, match, cheating, adultery, eskimo brothers, relationships

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CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!

Optimal Meeting Density

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Optimal Meeting Density  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuses, excuse, meeting, meetings, powerpoint, business

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Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.