All Year Comic Strips - Page 25
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View 241 - 250 results for all year comic strips. Discover the best "All Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
"Our CEO is here to answer any of your questions about our restatement of earnings." "Will you return your $25,000,000 bonus from last year, now that you acknowledge it was unearned?" "And what's your name?" "Dilbert."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Every absence counts as one 'occurrence' whether it is one day or more." "I just got a headache. I'll see you in a year. Or as I like to call it, one occurrence." "If something is worth having, it's worth abusing."
I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"
The Boss: Wally, what are your goals for the coming year? Wally: My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal. The boss: I mean something about work. Wally: Oh, I thought you said MY goals."
You wrote last year's date on this report. Ha ha! Swift. "I enjoy pointing out your mistakes because it makes me feel better about myself." "I wrote this last year." "This will go faster if you say you didn't."
Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!
Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.
Boss: Carol, I can't give you a raise this year because you didn't show enough initiative. Carol: I just formed a grass-roots movement to convince the government to raise taxes on people at your income level. Checkmate. Boss: That can't be legal.