Biggest Customer Comic Strips - Page 25

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260 Results for Biggest Customer

View 241 - 250 results for biggest customer comic strips. Discover the best "Biggest Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Twitter Complaints

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Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.

Hire A Famous Cartoonist

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Hire A Famous Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business

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Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...

Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #obsession, #caffeine, #decaf, #competition, #thinking, #intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Re Accomodation On The Flight

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Re Accomodation On The Flight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight

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Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

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Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

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Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.

Do Whatever The Data Says

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Do Whatever The Data Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #study, #analysis, #decision, #conclusions, #bias, #science

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Boss: I need you to do a financial analysis on upgrading our customer tracking software. Dilbert: What conclusion do you want me to reach? Boss: We'll do whatever the data says. Dilbert: Which is...? Boss: I already bought the upgrade.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #honesty, #immoral, #ulterior motives

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Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.

Our Api

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Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

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Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?