Career Low Comic Strips - Page 25

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311 Results for Career Low

View 241 - 250 results for career low comic strips. Discover the best "Career Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Our project scope has vastly expanded, so we'll all need to pull together as a team." "Is it too late for me to bail out before this project becomes a blight on my career?" "I already put the team photo on our coffee cups." "GAAA!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My side job as a cartoonist is doing well, so this is my resignation." "My new career involves sitting around in my pajamas and thinking of ways to ridicule you." "Actually, it's not so much a letter of resignation as it is a drawing of your body with a manure head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #save planet, #bad career advice, #fired, #no longer communtes, #licencse, #sell realestate

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Dilbert: One way to save the planet is to drive a fuel-efficient car. "Another way is to give bad advice to some idiot so he gets fired and no longer commutes." Dogbert: "You should get a license to sell real estate." "Really?"

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I'd like to discuss my career plan." "The plan is that we'll keep you around until we find a starving Elbonian to do your job for less." "In other words, blah, blah, maybe someday you will get a promotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #interviews, #tattoos & body marking, #job interview, #face tattoo, #overeating, #bad idea, #people can see, #dont interview well

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Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

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Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

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Share May 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #make copies, #mental task, #bloated cadaver, #staple or no, #asks secretary

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Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"

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Share May 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #admits assignment, #career, #dinner party, #small talk, #woman asks, #total losers, #blame, #coworkers

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woman: Before I get too invested in this conversation, tell me what you do for a living. Dilbert: I'm one of three people my boss asked to do the same assignment because he deems all of us unreliable. woman: This is why I ask. Dilbert: The other two people are total losers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."