Code Writing Puppet Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

272 Results for Code Writing Puppet

View 241 - 250 results for code writing puppet comic strips. Discover the best "Code Writing Puppet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo's Yacht

Thank you for voting.
Ceo's Yacht - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #money, #salary, #wages, #net worth, #rich people, #yacht, #obliviousness, #saving, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #modernity, #reality, #thinking, #frustration, #panic, #existentialism, #existence, #meaning of life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Looks like another day of flailing toward arbitrary goals. I will battle my way through a sea of idiots, much like the zombie apocalypse. My ego will be tested and my nervous system will be degraded. And all of this is to earn money so I can... buy items that scientists and product designers have brainwashed me to crave. But I get back at them by writing software they think they can't live without. My life is like two piles of meat trying to play ping pong. Alice: Stop mumbling and take care of this. Dilbert: You take care of it.

Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #singularity, #machines, #robot, #technology, #control, #power, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Wally's Inappropriate Attire

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Inappropriate Attire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #outfit, #crop top, #deception, #ploy, #trick, #telecommuting, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.

The Long Email

Thank you for voting.
The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

Requesting The Slightest Change

Thank you for voting.
Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

Estimating Finish Times

Thank you for voting.
Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Programming Environment

Thank you for voting.
Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

It Sounded Like Feng Shui

Thank you for voting.
It Sounded Like Feng Shui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #obliviousness, #distraction, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why haven't you finished writing the software? Dilbert: Because each of your interruptions took me out of the zone and turned a simple task into a nightmare. Catbert: What did he mean by that? Boss: It sounded like some sort of feng shui.