Family Friendly Policy Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

280 Results for Family Friendly Policy

View 241 - 250 results for family friendly policy comic strips. Discover the best "Family Friendly Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #children, #ignorance (knowledge), #replaced by robot, #replaced by hammer, #ugly, #furniture, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #monkeys, #company phone, #chimps, #time travled, #own phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know why I need to carry a company-issued phone plus my own phone? Boss: No. Dilbert: I think it's because our company policy was written by chimps who time-traveled from the fifties. Or do you have a better explanation. Boss: I really don't.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #Family, #personal items, #cubilces, #photos of kids

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Is that a picture of your kids? No personal items are allowed in cubicles! Employee: It's not personal. My kids are only in it for the money. Boss: It's more of a gray are than you'd think.

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #problem, #problems, #snag, #prodcuts, #accept failure, #lie, #transfer problem, #father, #old sayings, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Dilbert Meets The Mom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #ceos, #competition, #executives, #height, #money, #salary, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.