Mock Previous Engineer Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

280 Results for Mock Previous Engineer

View 241 - 250 results for mock previous engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Mock Previous Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use vacation time, #finish project, #find solution, #come to work on vacation, #network remotely

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you need to use your vacation time before the end of the year." Alice responds, "I don't have time. I need to finish my project." The Boss responds, "I'm sure that a highly trained engineer like you can find a solution." Alice responds, "Well.. I could say I'm on vacation and come to work as usual." The Boss responds, "No. I can't count it as vacation unless you're not in the building." Alice responds, "Okay.. I could take home my computer and work there." The Boss says, "No... You're not allowed to access our network remotely." Alice stands outside and leans through a window to use her computer. She thinks, "#!&#% worst vacation ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sales personnel, #offer discount, #chair, #runaway

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #internet & world wide web, #pride, #google, #smart, #pure energy, #life form, #gmail

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; I hired an engineer from Google. He's so smart that he evolved into a life-form that exists as pure energy. Engineer: Bow before my greatness, you pitiful humans! Boss: Sometimes he's a bit arrogant. Engineer: I once added a feature to gmail!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #public speaking, #heros journey, #power point, #pointed haired monster, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say you should format your presentation like a "Hero's Journey." Presentation: Eventually, the plucky engineer finished his PowerPoint slides despite interference from a pointy-haired monster. Boss: Experts never warn you about that part.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #suspicion, #startegic engineer group, #worst in one group, #insightful, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I'm moving you to a newly formed strategic engineering group. Ted; Are you putting all of your worst employees in one group so you can later eliminate the function and avoid firing each person individually? Boss: You picked a bad time to to become insightful.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #engineers, #project inherited, #weak code, #rewrite, #great job, #hired idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The project I inherited has weak code. I need to rewrite it from scratch. Boss: Will there ever be an engineer who says, "That last guy did a great job. Let's keep all of it?" Dilbert: I'm hoping the idiot you hire to replace me says that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #thinking, #mental energy, #executive attention, #brain network, #dangerous territory, #surpasses last remnets, #sociala awreness, #misread social cues

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Dick Comments On Alice's Blog

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Comments On Alice's Blog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blog, #comment, #dick, #internet, #troll, #personified, #worked up, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Do you have anything for me to mock? Alice: I'm leaving a comment on a blog. Man: Okay, got it. Alice: Can you take it out of context? Man: Shhh! I'm trying to get worked up over nothing.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awards, #cheating, #deception, #patent, #catch-22, #work ethic, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?