Question Comic Strips - Page 25
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289 Results for Question
View 241 - 250 results for question comic strips. Discover the best "Question" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 16,
2014
Tags criticism, frankness, goals, honesty, managers, root cause, bad parenting, pointy headed boos, underlings, rapidly evolving nature, talented employee, boss life story
Transcript
Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.
Wednesday December 03,
2014
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone
Tags dinosaurs, insult, insults, judgement, smart phones, technology, flip phone, judegment, follow ups
Transcript
Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.
Wednesday February 11,
2015
Ceo Returns From The Afterlife
Tags afterlife, angel, ceos, demon, evil, executives, good, good vs. evil, returning from the dead
Transcript
CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.
Saturday March 07,
2015
Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer
Tags discrimination, money, salary, sexism, violence, wages, Women, highest paid, sciccors, mallet, reputation
Transcript
Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!
Sunday May 10,
2015
Tags social media, facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram, obliviousness, technology, communication
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
Sunday September 27,
2015
Tags illusion, strategy, business, executives, bluff, bluffing
Transcript
CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.
Tuesday October 13,
2015
It Takes More Than Luck
Tags success, intelligence, privilege, nepotism, obliviousness, confusion
Transcript
CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.
Wednesday November 11,
2015
Two Choices For A Project
Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power
Transcript
Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.
Sunday March 13,
2016
Tags managing, work ethic, laziness, deception, trick
Transcript
Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.
Tuesday June 21,
2016
Wally Builds An Mvp Version
Tags ai, technology, fake, deception
Transcript
Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?


