Rivals In Management Comic Strips - Page 25

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

338 Results for Rivals In Management

View 241 - 250 results for rivals in management comic strips. Discover the best "Rivals In Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"You're always complaining about the management of your company so I decided to do something about it." "I used my billions to buy your company!" "You're going to fix management?" "No, I just wanted to stop all the whining. You're fired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Let's use our process to figure out why Project Wolverine failed. "There was only one reason: Management discourages employees from voicing opinions." "Wananagewent dutchcourages uth. Boo hoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I think what we should do is... "Whoa!" "Give me a minute to install my management listening catheter." "Tell me about your excellent suggestion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi. I'm your new nemesis." "The nemesis function used to be handled informally. Now it's a profession, kind of like project management." "Stand by while I prepare my nemesis face and look for reasons to thwart you." sigh

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

You can't have a side job of drawing a comic strip about the workplace. "I should fire you for mocking the management of this company in newspapers." "Because then I'd mock you less?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I had a productive time at the management retreat." "We golfed as hard as we could until we came up with a new vision for the company!!!" "But no one wrote it down, so we're going to try again next month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behind schedule, #created without knowledge, #future, #wild guesses, #surrigates, #knowledge, #project dealines, #trade, #show dates, #failure assured, #apologize, #budgets are created

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you explain why your project is behind schedule?" Dilbert answers, "Yes. A schedule is an artificial device created without knowledge of the future." Dilbert goes on to say, "Wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Project deadlines ae tied to trade show dates instead of reality." Dilbert continues his explanation, "Then management cuts the budget until failure is assured." Dilbert says to the Boss, "I assume you called me here so you can apologize for your role in all this." The Boss sits in his chair looking puzzled and amazed. Dilbert then asks the Boss, "Would you like to hear how budgets are created?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #pointing, #everyone else, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Who needs a little management help on their project? "You could almost feel the teamwork in the air."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #projects, #meetings, #ambiguous golas, #no budget, #angry team, #overworked people

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your project going? Dilbert: Do you mean the one that has no management support, ambiguous goals, no budget, and an angry team of overworked people who want it to die? Boss: No, the other one. Dilbert: Sometimes there isn't an "other one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.