Stealing Data Comic Strips - Page 25

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258 Results for Stealing Data

View 241 - 250 results for stealing data comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Spring Cleaning

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Spring Cleaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baboons, birthday, business, cleaning, criminals, drunk, files, list, servers, spring, white-collar

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boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Decisions Without Data

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Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, managers & supervisors, business, time, compile, facts, guess, career

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dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Believing Experts

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Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debates, Opinion, expert, facts, current events, Politics

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Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Shocking Fake Video

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Shocking Fake Video - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, obliviousness, videos, conspiracy

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Boss: Did you see the shocking claims in the video I emailed to you? Dilbert: Yes. The video is so obviously fake that only a raging moron would think any of it is true. Boss: I think it's all true. Dilbert: Welp, that's one data point in my favor.

Dna Says Wally Will Steal

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Dna Says Wally Will Steal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychology, dna, steal, office supplies, junk, science, experts, listen

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Catbert: wally, according to your dna, the odds of you stealing office supplies later this week are nearly 100%. wally: that sounds like junk science. catbert to boss: he refuses to listen to experts.

Workplace Injuries

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Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment

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boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Management Potential

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Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, stealing, credit, potential, chart

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boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit